Conscious Unrobing

Conscious Unrobing for Self and Your Beloved:

A sensual journey into a deeper realm of self love and connection by expanding the art of presence, vulnerability and honesty

When you think back upon the majority of your sexual or intimate experiences—-what has been the process of taking off your clothes?

Is taking off each other's clothes in a slow and sensual way a part of your lovemaking?

Do you rip off each other's clothes in a rampant fiery passion?

Do you meekly and slowly take off your clothes, starting with your socks, maybe stumbling around to find your balance?

Or if you’ve been with your partner for a while, do you take for granted your partners naked body and rush right into sex?

What if even this process was a part of foreplay…or a part of the sensual experience? What would it be like to consciously unrobe piece by piece, fiber by fiber… slowly with the full presence of your partner observing, appreciating, recognizing and marveling in your exquisiteness?

Practicing With A Partner

This practice is a way to witness your partner slowly revealing themselves, their soul in a palpable way, connected with gaze, connected by the energy between your bodies. One possible intention would be to witness your partner as a “god” or “goddess” or “exalted being”, to recognize them as a mirror also unto ourselves, to see ourselves in our partner, to see ourselves as a “god” or “goddess” too. Who might they become if you were to witness them piece by piece showing their body to you…but not just their body, their vulnerabilities, their eyes, their deeper self, their inner child, their inner restless teenager, their inner rebel, their inner angel, their inner demons? This kind of experience can take a mundane action and turn it into magic, a magical encounter that can be just the beginning of exploring deeper realms of intimacy. Conscious unrobing can be a kind of precursor to sex, or lovemaking, or fucking or whatever the best suiting word for such an experience---a spiritual sultry foreplay that may reveal ones most present moment mental, emotional, physical and heart space. Conscious unrobing can allow one to witness layers upon layers of beauty in ones partner and in ones self. The term beauty here is not based on body type, or physique, or stature or muscle tone…though those things are certainly welcomed too…but beauty in a sense that no matter what happened---laughter, tears, silliness, passionate turn on, or shy hesitation, the theme of acceptance, support and compassion were all given.

I have guided couples in workshops and private couples sessions in this exact process and it almost always brings tears to my eyes to watch the level of focus, love, vulnerability and sincere offering of oneself to their partner. It is one of the most beautiful, yet simple ways to truly start a tantric type of intimacy, whether it’s just a momentary practice or if it’s a practice that leads into other tantric exercises.

The amount of love and appreciation that exudes the room is absolutely stunning as people drop into a place of heart, of tenderness, of sincerity…

The room drops into a place of “this is me, this is all of me, this is me naked physically, emotionally and spiritually and I surrender to this moment fully and completely”.

Conscious unrobing as an intimate practice takes time and going quite deep into one's fears, insecurities, and true vulnerability as a soul inhabiting a body. This isn’t a practice that lets you hide from much. If there are struggles with body image or staying in a space of presence with oneself…it will come up, and that too holds tremendous space for healing, love and being seen especially in that space. To be witnessed as an imperfect, yet perfectly human being is also the practice. It is the exact moment that connection can deeply grow, closeness to another can happen and a sense of isolation can start to crumble…which after working with so many people as an intimacy and sexuality coach…is really what most people want, though working through the fear is also a huge part of the journey…and the rewards are magnanimous. Freedom from conditioning is available, freedom to let some of the mind chatter go for the sake of finding true connection.

Practicing Solo--With Your Deepest Lover

If you are wondering or thinking, ‘but I don’t have a partner”…this practice is also deeply for you! Consciously unrobing yourself in front of a mirror is one of the sweetest ways to take a closer look at your body, your judgments you may have, your ability to accept yourself, your way of claiming parts, perhaps the younger you, the playful you, the mischievous you…all parts can be reclaimed.

Tips for Practicing Solo:

Create a playlist for a few different moods you want to explore in yourself

Create an Intention. What are you wanting to love more, see more in yourself, or mood you are wanting to create for yourself? Perhaps sometimes it’s to deeply see and hold your inner child, to dance and play with your whimsical seductress or seducer or see your regal inner queen or king!

Dress up to dress down. Turn this into an entire experience of choosing your favorite clothing or lingerie to wear to start this practice

Turn off phones or any distractions. Try to stay as present with yourself as possible...you deserve your undivided attention

Journal to process any feelings, new awarenesses, judgments or insights this type of mediation brought up.

What to expect…

I have facilitated this practice for several people in front of a mirror. I’ve seen remarkable things happen by doing so. Some people realize how cruel and critical they've been to their body and themselves, getting a reflection of their negative self talk (and we all have this!) Some have old

memories of being teased for how they looked or what their genitals looked like as a younger version of themselves. I’ve seen latent memories and stories come up as very old layers that have kept them back from fully loving themselves, fully reclaiming the parts of themselves that they never thought were lovable or worthy.

I’ve seen people get tingles, heat and big bursts of energy as they look more deeply into some of their longest held beliefs about themselves as they thaw some of the old stories, beliefs and insecurities. It too is one of the most beautiful things to witness…a human being taking back their power, reclaiming their story and starting to find a deeper way to love themselves. I don’t know what is more powerful than that or more transformational that goes far beyond skin deep. When we can look at ourselves in the mirror and decide to be kinder, more accepting, more loving… this directly will get extended out to others as we too witness them as more similar to ourselves worthy or love, acceptance and compassion.

Whatever your experience is, transcendental or complete boredom---let it be perfect, wanting to change nothing, embracing the moment just as is, just as you are.

xo